Another 3lbs down...

Ok, I figure one of the best ways that I can keep track of my weight loss is to blog about it. I started off at a whopping 175lbs (which is a lot for my little 5ft 1 frame) and decided what the hell--I'll try weight watchers. I manged to lose 3 lbs, bringing me down to 172. So of course, my first reaction is...meh, maybe this isn't for me. There's a lot of food tracking and I'm the type of person that the more I watch what I eat calorie wise, the less likely I am to eat as a whole (and for those who know me...I like my food). Between that and tracking stuff online every single day was really starting to annoy me.

So what to do....what the hell..I'll just watch what I eat, get that down and then incorporate a little bit of exercise here and there. The watching part I did good at, the working out part, not so much. Typically, if I have an extra 20-30mins for a workout, then its usually spent doing homework.

Again, I'm stuck with this "what to do?" mentality. I was shopping yesterday with my student refund (only a little of it, I gotta treat myself every once in awhile!) and picked up some slim-fast and the Wii Active 2 game. Slim-fast came out with a 3-2-1 plan (3 snacks, 2 shakes, 1 meal)...wow..common sense at this finest. The shakes are simply meal replacements, the snacks are the 3 snacks you should eat every day and the meal can be up to 500 calories (which depending on how you fill those 500 calories can be an awful lot of food). Granted, the Wii Active 2 is exactly the same as the Wii Active where you can simply jiggle the remote around, but then it would have been a waste of money to buy it, huh? They've got a 3 week "program" ranging from easy-->hard as well as a 9 week program with the same degree of difficulty.

I must be doing something right because I'm down to 169lbs :o)

New Plan

Decided that I needed to lose the wonderful, luscious (not to mention grotesque and stretch mark filled) area known as my belly once and for all. Figured it was one of the many things that's keeping me from having kids, so why not get rid of it? My first initial diet was a high-protein, low fat/carb diet that pretty much put me through hell for the 1st week (premise behind the diet was to get your body to use its own fat as energy instead of the food you eat). Of course, when you go off this plan, you gain everything back and then some because as soon as you eat "normal" food again, you binge as if you haven't eaten in a month.

So this time around, I'm trying weight watchers with my co-worker Jen (she started first and has lost about 10lbs so far). Its actually a really simple plan to follow and I'm wondering why I didn't do it before. I started technically yesterday, so I'll update every so often (even if its just me who reads this, its good to know where I started from, right)? I've even gone as far as taking "before" diet pictures of myself and needless to say, those won't be posted here!

For some reason, I still find myself taking on more and more projects as a means of keeping myself busy. Why can't I just not relax and do nothing for once? I've got school projects and wedding projects and work projects up the wazoo and I'm finding myself so distracted lately that none of it is really getting done. I think I need to set myself up on a "project" schedule so that I work on everything that needs to be worked on. I've even gone as far as rearranging my work schedule to accommodate school. Its helped, but by the time I get home, I don't want to do anything (which is honestly better than what it was on midnights because I didn't have time to do anything).

On a side note, I do have to chuckle to myself about one of my current classmates (one of those omg, slap your forehead kinda chuckles) because she was saying how she got her associates from University of Phoenix and practically had a 4.0gpa when she graduated. She goes to Baker for her bachelors and has already failed a couple classes and doesn't understand why. I'm tempted to (but don't have the heart to tell her) that University of Phoenix doesn't teach anything. You can plagiarize your entire paper and won't get in trouble for it and even use wikipedia as a credible source! You don't need to have proper writing or grammar, just have one person in your group do all the work and its an easy A!

Brian's building guitar amplifiers and is finally thinking of selling some of them. Here's a couple of his latest one (its not for sale, but built for a friend of his)
He actually built both of them, the smaller one is going to his friend

New Frustrations

Oh where oh where do I begin...needless to say, I'm going to be venting like no other. All said and done, it might not appear to be a great deal, but I needed to vent it off (or it'll turn into a novel, one of the two).

*School is starting up again tomorrow which, oddly enough, I'm rather excited for. I took the summer off as a means of taking a break and I'll agree with Brian that it was needed. However, I might need to double up on some classes and just plug and chug through it to get done somewhat soon. Brian decided that he wanted to go back to school, but doesn't understand why he's required to take the required general ed classes that most places require instead of just taking the classes he needs to get his degree. Although I do see his point, I do have him convinced that I'll help him with the gen-ed classes that he needs to take (and of course, by "helping" probably means that I'll be doing it for him...ah well). I'm just glad that he's decided to go back to school again.

* I would say hands down that my biggest source of frustration right now isn't my inability to get pregnant...it would be work. Yes, the place I love to go to 5 days/at least 40hrs/week is finally getting to me after 3 years. It honestly appears as if no one wants to be there anymore, and with due cause. We had a department meeting on Monday and it honestly felt like we were being chewed out for this, that and everything else for 90mins. I honestly wanted to simply get up and walk out, but I figured I'd probably get one heck of a butt chewing for that one. I'll admit that I've worked in crappy places before, but this is actually starting to get ridiculous. The policies change on a daily basis, we're constantly being told that we're not doing stuff correctly when we are (or at least some of us are anyways). Instead of talking to those that aren't doing their job correctly on an individual basis, everyone gets the butt-chewing so those who don't know they're not things correctly don't feel isolated. Make them feel isolated! Maybe then it would sink in that they're not doing something correctly. I've honestly tossed around the idea of looking for another job. It used to be that I really enjoyed going to work and now I don't want to go because I'm afraid that if I look at someone the wrong way that I'm going to get written up for it or talked to about it. I am flat out tired of it. I know the economy sucks and jobs aren't that plentiful, but I'm willing to take my chances. That actually brings up another point--we're being told that we're under a tight budget and if items A, B and C don't get fixed soon, we're going to start laying people off...if you're threatening to do lay-offs..why did we just hire new people??? Management seriously needs to get off their arses and start being managers and supervisors instead of trying to cover their butt with PR crap. If they were doing their job to begin with and making sure their staff was doing their job, you wouldn't need to do PR crap to make up for it.

Nutter year...more reflections

Granted, it's not quite my birthday yet, but figure its close enough to reflect upon the past year and my life thus far.

I would say on one hand, my life is pretty damn good. I've got a wonderful family whom I rarely see, I'm still madly in love with my husband and best friend, and I've got a pretty gosh good job where I'm pretty safe from layoffs (knock on wood) where I can pretty much do whatever I wish because I've shown that time and time again that I'm a hardworking and trustworthy individual who knows what they're doing.

So what's going on if everything is so great? Well, for starters, I'm still not pregnant. Everyone says not to worry about it and things will happen on their own...I'm tired of waiting! Brian and I have been trying for 4 YEARS!! How much longer do I have to wait?? I'm seriously thinking that we're not meant to have kids which is a shame because I know how awesome of a dad Brian would be.

Our plans for house buying this year fell through...partially thanks to Brian's guitar habit and the stupid mortgage guy we talked to. We had a substantial amount saved up for a house, but Brian found a couple guitars that he wanted and started selling some stuff on eBay...needless to say, there went our savings because one guy accused Brian of selling him a broken amplifier when all it needed was a new tube put in...a simple $3 fix that cost us almost $300. So needless to say, we're in the process of rebuilding our savings for a house. The mortgage guy we talked to was a total douche bag. He tells me that I have to get letters of deferment from my student loan lenders when my loans were already in deferment! UGGGGGG!!

Here I go again..

For some reason, I never seem to be content doing just one project...oh no...I gotta have multiple things going on at once to keep myself busy. Even as I'm doing this, I'm writing (obviously), doing laundry and cleaning my desk off so I have more room to work on even more projects, and looking at houses to buy. Do I have this unsubstanciated fear of being bored? I consider myself pretty good at multi-tasking but at times its rediculous at what I pile on so many projects that I can't finish one. Maybe I have a fear of simply finishing stuff...that would expalin my undying pile of projects to finish.

Here's what I'm working on at the current time...
*Review book for work for those who haven't taken their MR boards
*A scrapbook from when the Red Wings won the cup a few years back
*Enough scrapbook stuff and photos for at least 3-4 more scrapbooks
*Looking for and at houses to buy (along with saving up enough money to purchase said house)
*Getting stuff ready for school this fall (as if going back to school full-time while working isn't hard enough, I ran for and won the election for President of our Psychology honor society called Psy Beta, so now I have all that to worry about as well)
*Creating a "new hire survival guide" for our new hires that condenses all of our department policies down into one very simple to understand notebook as well as how to scan exams (I've pretty much decided our department training program needs to be revamped so I'm unoffically working on that here and there)
*Cross-stitch for an upcoming wedding

Needless to say, I've got my plate more than full and yet for some stupid ass reason, I keep piling on more. Am I trying to obtain the title of world's best multi-tasker or am I just plain nuts?

What the funk?

For some strange reason, I'm in one hell of a funk that I can't seem to work my way out of. Its one of these things where I feel like I have a shit load of stuff to do, yet no time or motivation to do it. This leads me to get flustered because I see all these projects laying around, just waiting to be finished and what do I do? Why, I start a new project...that's the best answer---just one more feakin project for me to get all flustred about finishing.

I've decided to nix my diet for now. The diet chicks I was working with who claimed to be "supportive" were huge bitches when it came to setting up appointments to see them. Now, if you're supposed to be supportive and encourage your clients to come in and see you, wouldn't you want to tone down the bitchy-ness a little bit? So needless to say, I'll be back to my normal "I'm not pregnant, just fat" self in no time flat.

For the last time, I'm NOT PREGNANT!!!

To say the least...it has been one hell of ride since I updated last. Here's just a snippit of my time since my last update...

**I'm waiting for a call back from the endocrinologist to see what he wants to do because all of my lab work came back normal that he sent me for. Does this present a pickle? Bet your sweet patookers it does because I'm showing signs that I've got too much of the steroid in my system (which is just as bad as not having enough).

**I lost a dear sweet co-worker and friend on May 8th. Frank was hands down one of the sweetest and funniest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and he will truly be missed by all who knew him. Frank and I would joke around that I was his work wife...and for the most part, I was. I think out of all of us who worked with him, he and I were the closest. Rest in peace my dear friend.

**I never quite realized how rude and inconsiderate some people are. I had, yet again, 2 people over the weekend ask me if I was expecting. One even went as far as placing her hand on my abdomen (yes, you read that correctly), asked me if I was expecting and when I told her no, she asked if I was sure. How freakin rude is that? I had another one yesterday ask me if I was expecting and I said, "Nope, just fat. I've got issues with my adrenal glands that make me look like I'm pregnant" and she left it at that. But for the other chick to question the answer that I gave her is flat out rude! What ever happened to manners in today's society? I'm for free speech and all, but damn...there's a line between free speech and making yourself look like an ass!

**Classes are going along as best they can be. My current class may end up being the death of me yet (although I'm waiting for my Senior Seminar Class because it will be my last class!!). If I plan things correctly, I'll be graduating in January 2013 with my bachelor's in psychology and starting my masters' that fall. By that time, we should be in our house and hopefully on our way onto parenthood.

Mother's Day for a childless mother

I honestly think that this is the first time that Mother's day this year is depressing the hell out of me. I'm used to the fact that my own mom lives over 2 hours away and makes no effort to come up here--that's not what upsets me. What upsets me the most is that I see everyone around me having children, knowing that I may not be able to have children of my own someday. Yes, I'm a mom to Buddy, but its not the same. I know that its not completely ruled out as of yet that we can't have children, but its not looking too good either. My endocrinologist sent me in for labs to try to figure out what is going on with me...needless to say, so far they're coming back normal (my one lab--cortisol--came back really low, but its supposed to because I'm on cortisol suppresion therapy for the enzyme blockage in my adrenal glands). I'm hoping we haven't gone through all this over the last year with the steriods for nothing and there may be something else going on. I know its something rather petty to be thinking about when I've got so many great moms in my life--bev, barb, lynn--but its not the same because I'm not a mom myself. I guess its just one of those things that will either come along when we're least expecting it, something we're gonna have to fight really hard in order to achieve, or have to learn to deal with the fact that we're not meant to have children. If we're not able to have children of our own, we're alright with it because there are plenty of children in the world who need a good home.

keep ya'll posted on how things turn out

What the hell?

I'm starting to wonder why at times we even go to the doctors office to find out what exactly is wrong with us in the first place. For those who don't know, I have late-onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia (or Locah as I like to call it). Pretty much, it means that there is a partial enzyme blockage in my adrenal glands that not only reeks havoc with my hormones (for those who thought I was a little off, you now have something to pin it on), but with my body as a whole, pretty much rendering me at this point not able to have children (I can have children eventually, just not right now). As a form of treatment, I'm on steroids to help suppress the extra crap my body is producing (which comes with its own little bundle of side effects like weight gain). The reproductive endocrinologist that I'm currently seeing is a really great doctor (not to mention funny) is a total loss as to what is going on with me. Everything was all fine and kosher for about 4 months and then my symptoms started flaring up again. He looked at my labs that were done in February, he's getting worried because between those and my current symptoms, he's at a total loss right now--half of my symptoms suggest that the steroids are working too well and the other half of my symptoms (including my lab work) are suggesting that the steroids aren't working well enough...hence my current pickle.

I'm so frustrated right now because it always seems as if the *important* stuff that I want in my life I have to constantly fight for and I'm tired of it. I'm very grateful to have Brian with me right now because he is definitely my rock (as well as my sista friend Alicia). Why can't anything I really want ever come easy for me?

Whoo hoo!

I am well on my way to a skinny ass!! I switched my diet plans around a little bit, simply because I needed more than just shakes and puddings all day long. I loved the fact that I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time---I just didn't like the 560-600 calories/day that I was consuming (which that by itself doesn't sound too healthly).

I switched over to a 1200 calorie/day diet and I'm noticing some differeces already like the fact that I'm not so grumpy and get upset with others eat "normal" food in front of me like I was when I was doing the drinks/puddings (I'd tell people it was ok to eat normal food in front of me, but it really bugged the bejeezers out of me). The only problem with this one is that almost everything I'm eating is fat free/low calorie/low sodium---everything I should have been eating in the first place (trust me...its quite something to go from a fatty Big Mac to a healthy veggie burger)...the proof is in the scale though. When I went to my diet meeting this week, I lost 9 lbs by their scale, bringing me down to 176lbs which is great!! I know that its gonna be a long while and I'll face plateaus here and there, but I'll get down to a nice slim 110-115lbs someday--just a mere 66lbs to go!

Oh ho hum...

I guess everything so far is ok for the most part. John and Alicia are moving up to Traverse City here in the next couple months (well, Alicia is...John is moving up there little by little on the weekends.)

Things here on my end are alright. I go back to work tomorrow night and I'm not entirely looking foward to it since I've had the last 4 days off...no doctors yelling, people actually knowing how to do their job...its amazing at some of things that slide by. And yet...I haven't thought about them at all really during the last 4 days.

The biggest thing on my mind right now is how much of a goob (or I guess moog) my abnormal psych teacher is being...one of the downsides of taking online classes I guess--you try to sound intelligent (and heaven forbid you actually are intelligent) and you get marked down for it. So I guess if my instructor wants dumbass cookie cutter answers, then its dumbass cookie cutter answers he'll get---I'll just explain everything as if I'm talking to an idiot and we'll see how he likes it for a week or two (of course, knowing myself and the way things usually backfire in my face, I'll probably get full credit for it).