I honestly think that this is the first time that Mother's day this year is depressing the hell out of me. I'm used to the fact that my own mom lives over 2 hours away and makes no effort to come up here--that's not what upsets me. What upsets me the most is that I see everyone around me having children, knowing that I may not be able to have children of my own someday. Yes, I'm a mom to Buddy, but its not the same. I know that its not completely ruled out as of yet that we can't have children, but its not looking too good either. My endocrinologist sent me in for labs to try to figure out what is going on with me...needless to say, so far they're coming back normal (my one lab--cortisol--came back really low, but its supposed to because I'm on cortisol suppresion therapy for the enzyme blockage in my adrenal glands). I'm hoping we haven't gone through all this over the last year with the steriods for nothing and there may be something else going on. I know its something rather petty to be thinking about when I've got so many great moms in my life--bev, barb, lynn--but its not the same because I'm not a mom myself. I guess its just one of those things that will either come along when we're least expecting it, something we're gonna have to fight really hard in order to achieve, or have to learn to deal with the fact that we're not meant to have children. If we're not able to have children of our own, we're alright with it because there are plenty of children in the world who need a good home.
keep ya'll posted on how things turn out
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